House and Job Hunting kind of fries your brains.

I'm kind of annoying. I'm not that unaware of how big a pain in the ass I am.
But I'm not repulsive. I think.
Evidence kind of proves otherwise. Especially regarding men. And women actually. Come to think of it, both in same amounts.
That just makes me realize how much I need to find my own apartment, alone. If I can manage to do so. I'm afraid if I move in with anyone I'll become too close. And I know what happens next all too well. I'll need some sort of approval, someone saying "oh honey you're not a horrible person", and I hate that.
So I need to be alone. I couldn't stand having someone say something like that right now. I recognize perfectly how much I need comfort right now, which is the exact reason why I don't want to get it. It's like, tough love. Just need to be alone.
And that done, I need a new day job that covers everything. I can still work at the restaurant, that's not a problem, I just need to be sure I can provide for myself.
But it's too much for my recently patched-up self to get it's head around.
So now, surviving and having fun. Then, when I can, I'll look for the damn apartment. And the job hunting starts next week.
Now I have another job to go to.
And a smile I kept in a box to put on like a pretty necklace or a shiny pair of gloves.

Inez Bento, bit tired, signing off

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